Can you fully forgive a person who has caused you pain in the past, and has been the reason for your tears? Most people find it extremely challenging to move on from trauma, and the feeling of being cheated on by a loved one.
There is also a conflict of whether they should hold on to their anger and resentment, or let go of it all, so as to be able to move on in life. Devina Kaur, an inspirational speaker, radio host, and producer, and the author of the self-help book ‘Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious’ says when one is cheated on, especially by someone who is supposed to be close, it can often feel like being robbed of an experience of a lifetime.
“Nevertheless, if you truly wish to move on, it’s important to consider forgiving the person. Forgiveness is most certainly about considering your own future so that you can move on with a clean slate,” she explains.
The act of forgiving someone, says Kaur, can be beneficial to you and to them. “It shows your emotional responsibility and maturity and allows you to move in and live without any regrets. It can also allow the person to realise their mistakes and hopefully do better in the future.”
Here are three tips on how to forgive someone:
1. Know and accept who you are
When you know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, it will be easier to figure out what behaviours you will allow and what you will not. Ask yourself ‘what do I deserve?’, and ‘what energy do I want to attract?’
Remember no part of you is your enemy. Know your value, allow good energies to surround you and watch how positivity will change your life. When you are able to do this, you will be able to forgive those who have wronged you and either move on with them in your life or move on knowing that they have left your life with only good memories.
2. Accept that others face their own difficulties
Often, those who have wronged us have their own struggles and insecurities that they have projected on us. Approach them with love, care and compassion. Try to put yourself in their shoes. When you are able to forgive someone, you open the possibility to helping them with their struggles. Approach them with kindness and that can be a whole new beginning for both of you.
3. Seek professional help
When life becomes too overwhelming, it is easy to fall off the track. Be mindful of your needs. If the hurt that someone has inflicted on you is too much to bear, seek professional help. There is a lot of stigma that exists around mental well-being, but do what is best for you. Block out external pressure and put yourself first. Remember the journey to more self-love is love itself.